Tuesday Nov 15 '05

I really should have posted yesterday, when I was happii (12)

My job is great, though I’ve yet to actually start on projects thanks to the government’s need to background check you all the way back to fuckin’ preschool (or so it seems.) Monday was awesome, everyone’s super nice and witty. Today sucked. It sucked because of paperwork that is still getting sorted. I’m having a bullshit of a time getting my clearance to get a pass into my building. In October “Homeland Security” decided that getting building clearance into government buildings should be like pulling teeth. Painful and long . So I’m EXTREMELY frustrated with that right now. I hate having to have people come down and sign me in just so I can go to work. It wastes their time and mine. Plus many people get in later than I do and are having to come in early JUST to sign me in. I feel so bad!!!!

So whatever, … I really wish I was in a better mood today. Things went bad from the moment I got ready this morning, when my hairdryer broke and DAMNIT, I was supposed to go get one after work!!! DAMNIT. Too late now! I can’t even risk not having a spot to park when I come home since Mike gave Mart my fucking garage key again and I have to park on the street tonight. Stupid asshole should buy his own damn fuckin’ garage key and stop getting to use mine. [[yes, I’m in a sour mood.]] But I’m also in a very… fragile mood. My life (not work) is getting to me. Things are not right. I can’t seem to make them right. I’m such a burden sometimes. Mike is miserable with me, I know he is. We are going through the same shit, yet, we can’t seem to connect through that. It’s both our faults, but we just keep distancing each other from the pain we feel. That’s so stupid. It’s so obvious. But it’s easier to say what should be done than actually getting it into motion. I’ve tried talking, but it doesn’t work. He’s not letting me in. I’m getting frustrated. I don’t know…

So I got a few things for my work desk, [[sorry no pictures]]. Midori, they had crane eggs in! Pastel and glow-in-the-dark papers for them. I bought another pack of wish boats though, I just love them and since I work for NOAA, I’m going to buy a jar and fill it with just wish boats for work!! FUN FUN!

Now I’m off to finish my 8 page form background check where I must list the places I’ve lived within the past 5 years giving a verification contact person that knew me while living there and that is also STILL living there. …. WHAT!??? I hate this crap =_______=;;.

Leanne sleepii Brittany Lorik Winniey Livv Lydia Jen lain Jennifer … thanks!