It hurts too much.


Wednesday September 07, 2005 comments   

This entry is hard to write because I don’t know what to say. I went home yesterday, to the devastate and destroyed Gulf Coast of Mississippi. I can’t begin to tell how horrible it is. So very very very many people lost everything, their homes, their possessions, their lives even.

I know New Orleans is in the media spotlight. People in Mississippi are barely getting anything they need. Red Cross along with local communities are keeping people alive. I don’t know. It’s upsetting. Extremely upsetting. I can’t sleep at night because of my heartache. Even a friend’s parents have no where to go. I’m sure a lot of people I know & knew have no home now. I feel guilty that we only lost the beach house. A house that was used for fun and not necessity.

Today they told us our water was now safe to drink. I can’t work. I probably won’t get to work before I move. I’m losing a month’s of pay. For a girl that lives paycheck to paycheck, that’s very bad.

I know so very very very many people in Mississippi have lost their jobs because the place they work at has vanished. Wiped clean by the storm surge.

I don’t know when I’ll blog next. It’s hard to focus my thoughts. I might not blog till after our move in late September. Then again, maybe I’ll blog tomorrow. Why is it so hard to do this now? I don’t even want to publish this entry.

Thank you to everyone for the well wishes. It really helps get me through the day.

PEN PALS
The central office for the postal service was destroyed. The mailing system is pretty messed up right now. I’ll be sending/emailing my new address out and we move on the 18th. If you send something between now and then there’s no guarantee that I’ll receive it. We seem to be getting some mail that was already in the area, but not others such as packages. So be wary of things you might send me ^^;;. THANK YOU AND SORRY!

PS: I just got your letter Lorik!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! It really cheered me up which is something I’m not getting to do lately. My God you are so talented!!! The watercolor is beautiful :love:


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PPS: I thought I’d upload at least one photo. This is a photo of the apartment next to ours in our complex. During the storm we felt a huge “BOOM” and saw sheet rock & insulation flying at our window. We feared it was our building, however, it was the 6 feet awayr. photo.

INFORMATION ON THE MS GULF COAST. Including video. This is the station during all hurricanes. They stay on for the entire hurricane period. This is the longest they’ve ever been on in history. Going 9 days strong 24/7!

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I’m okay.


Sunday September 04, 2005 comments   

I’m OKAY

My city is just now getting power and running water back. I am so very very very lucky to have DSL too so I can let some of my non-Mississippi friends know I’m okay. Almost no one here has internet so I’m very very very lucky. Plus there is still no other way to get national news. Phones are still messed up. Things have been just horrid. I’ve been living okay, temperatures have been 100F (38 C) or more with no AC or fans or anything. Sleep has been impossible. Heat stroke has been a constant worry. The water is still undrinkable. Our apartment made out okay. Just some water and roof damage. The building next to us and a few others had their brick walls collapse, so we know we are very lucky. We have enough bottled water, but are slowly running out of food.

I wasn’t able to contact my parents for 5 long days. I know I wasn’t the only one. My hometown and family live on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. I had no idea if they were okay. Day 5 I finally got through to my Mom. My entire family was okay! Their house, my childhood home, was livable. It has flood damage and there’s a huge hole in the roof, but we are very very lucky that our house was built two feet off the ground to help lessen the flood damage we received. My grandmother’s house is okay as well, but the family beach house is, of course, gone. They found my great grandmother’s blanket tangled in a tree. That’s all that was left. I want to so badly drive to my parent’s but there’s no gas anywhere, so I can’t.

Now that things are slowly getting back to normal I’m beginning to feel the real pain. The cities I grew up in are damaged, destroyed, and even gone. As if they never existed. My childhood memories are all I have of many places now. People I’ve known are being found dead or are still missing. I’m so very very very very lucky to have my entire family well. I’m so unbelievably happy to have that.

Things here are still disconnected. The internet is my only way of national news. I read that much of the administration is trying to say the situation in New Orleans was not predicted….. that’s the biggest load of fuckin’ bullshit I’ve ever fuckin’ heard! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE here in the Gulf knew New Orleans was screwed if a hurricane directly hit them. They had flood fears even if it just rained hard!!!!!!! How can they say it wasn’t predictable!? We had some friend that lived there. We heard from them yesterday. They, like most, got the fuck out of there the second they even hinted at hurricane Katrina going towards New Orleans. The city was in chaos. It’s not that surprising to the locals of the Gulf Coast. The place was beautiful and fun, but not safe. I only went when I had at least two other guys with me for protection. It’s still, nevertheless, disgustingly horrible what has and is happening there. I’m not sure what’s going on there now. I wish for better news sources, though, WLOX has been wonderful. Like always. They always continue to broadcast 24/7 through hurricanes. Never have they had to stay on so long, but they know they are the only ones that can bring the people news and information on the area. They are saviors, honestly. They broadcast over the radio which was all we had till now that powers on. We can barely get them in on the TV antennae, but it’s worth seeing them through the fuzzy picture.

I sent out letters to many. I had no idea how soon I’d have DSL. Postal service is still really shaky so I’m not sure when the letters will be delivered.

I hope everyone is safe and that if you have friend or family on the coast, I hope they are found well.

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