Today went by pretty fast. And I smell like tacos no matter how many times I wash my hands . Taking everything 1 day at a time isn’t hard… it’s the waiting for tomorrow that’s hard. And those fuckin’ “what if’s” that really kill. I don’t want to live life one cup of tea to the next. I want to live, enjoy, and REMEMBER the good, peaceful, happy times. But I don’t know how too. When I reflect on my current situation, I say I’m mostly unhappy. Mike disagrees. He says I’m VERY happy 85% of the time and that I just never acknowledge the happiness. He’s right. I guess I’m a closet pity-party abuser in deep denial. …. hahhahahhahahah I don’t know why I’m sharing this craziness! I’m fuckin’ crazy… a big bowl of typical 20-something MTV/Grunge generation crazy!!

posted at 11:10 pm ; Saturday   

 

 

12 Comments » Post a Comment

1. Jamie said,

   January 21, 2007 @ 12:31 am

   Hey sounds like you’r e a bit depressed and haven’t seen ya online for a while. I hope everything is okay. I hate that smell of taco’s on your hands. It’s so dirty. Especially if you ate something like tuna noodle casserole or something like that, and get it on your hands it’s just gross. Well; I’m exhausted and yawning like crazy, so I’m gonna go. TYL.

2. Leanne said,

   January 21, 2007 @ 12:38 am

   it’s funny how life is like that. when you’re happy there’s always this thing at the back of your mind that this ‘happiness’ will not last. however when you’re really down, you don’t believe you’ll ever be able to get out of this deep dark hole. i’m glad you’re taking one day at a time. i guess don’t think about it that way. just do you thing and time just wizzes by :]

3. Sumoni said,

   January 21, 2007 @ 1:39 am

   I know how you feel. I find myself at tims wondering what nirvana or peace really is. I don’t understnad how anyone my age can take it easy with all the crap they have to put up with. And the days seem to zip right by and suddenly I’m waking up again to go to work. But I feel that if I continue and try to prove my worth then things will work out. All things balance out in time. All things will eventually come to pass. I hope that helps. I think I’m rambling.

4. Jennifer said,

   January 21, 2007 @ 3:24 am

   It’s okay, we all go through some kind of crazyness every now and then, he-he~

   Hope you’re able to enjoy the weekend. ^_____^

5. jayjayne said,

   January 21, 2007 @ 4:06 am

   Hwa! Tis’ be correct! We always seem to concentrate on the sadness in our lives (we sweat the small stuff lah) and often forget the >85% that is total goodness! :3 YAY! Concentrate on the good, stuff the bad lovely! You deserve to be happy! *joy*

6. Lydia said,

   January 21, 2007 @ 6:34 am

   uhm… it feels like you’re describing me. For the past 2 years I’ve been living like that and I seriously try to find reasons to make life worth living…
   Maybe we should really just focus on the happier things in life instead of pointing to the unhappy and painful moments only. Don’t give up! You will gain happiness!

7. Kim said,

   January 21, 2007 @ 12:48 pm

   Mmm… tacos. But that smell is annoying when it’s on your hands and won’t come off. =/
   You’re not crazy! Be happy happy. =)

8. Sara said,

   January 21, 2007 @ 1:46 pm

   Blech, I love tacos however, if I were ever to just stink of them for an entire day, I would go nuts. Although, the same thing happens when I touch onions now. I can’t touch an onion without having gloves on because my hands will just stink like onion and then even though I shower, i scrub them in the sink, and put hand lotion all over them, they end up smelling like rotting onions for a few days. So, now I just wear those big plastic cafeteria gloves to cut my onions. XD! So my hands stay smelling like…well clean hands.

9. Minna said,

   January 21, 2007 @ 3:42 pm

   Hmm , I think it’s easier to feel unhappy than happy, not because you want to but we tend to realize the unhappiness and when we’re happy we just feel normal. As if it was something we deserve all the time, wich we do in an ideal world. Ok now I’m rambeling. Did you get any of that? :/ I hope you did

10. Sasha said,

    January 21, 2007 @ 4:32 pm

    bleh. Yes, life sucks. I keep thinking “bigger picture, bigger picture.” Maybe someday, I will actually believe it!

11. Lain said,

    January 21, 2007 @ 6:04 pm

    lol eve ntho it’s stupid, being EMO rocks cause ur like, GODDAMMIT, the world hates me so i have the right to hate ON U, but of course we MUSN’T think like that. world is pretty good to you if u think about it, and u should show happiness until it fucks you over again this post makes no sense..

12. Lain said,

    January 21, 2007 @ 6:05 pm

    when i said post i meant this comment makes NO sense

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