Saturday Dec 20 '08
Carbon Monoxide (45) 
Remember how we had our carbon monoxide detectors go off last Sunday? That day I spent at least 6 hours in the carbon monoxide filling room without knowing. All day I had a horrible headache and jaw pain that would not go away even after 5 Motrin. After we aired out the house I began having severe panic attacks that Monday morning. They were horrible. Followed by a sudden on come of severe depression symptoms. Then the next day, & the next…. I have carbon monoxide poisoning. There’s not much that can be done except waiting it out. The carbon is slowly cycled through and replaced by healthy oxygen in your red blood cells but it can take up to weeks for your system to return back to normal. Even meds for depression don’t work in this case. 
It comes and goes and has gotten slightly less severe compared to Monday’s first attack. It’s just so awful. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Full blown depression and anxiety, plus fatigue and inability to focus. There’s no “cheering up” the symptoms either because it’s all chemical. There’s not much I can do except wait for it to be 100% out of my system. It doesn’t make it any easier that 2 new neighbors are still moving in and interrupting my sleep pattern and making me feel so stressed out trying to re adapt to “city life” where, yes, you have neighbor noise like TVs & foot fall noise & it’s a part of life. I got spoiled with the months upon months of silence in our home.
I wasn’t sure about posting this. Today wasn’t a good day. I’ve been having an anxiety attack for about 6 hours now. I just hate the hopelessness that comes with it. The urgency to change my life. To quit my job and move for no reason. It’s like an elephant is sitting on my chest my heart feels so heavy and full all the time. It cane take weeks. WEEKS. I’ve already had 1 week 
I want to thank everyone who wrote down what makes them happy. When my symptoms were gone reading them really made me so, so happy. And even when the anxiety of depression was present reading them helped me hold on to reality as much as I possibly could.
Mike’s been amazing with this whole thing. Taking me out, watching what I eat (sugars and caffeine make the symptoms extremely worse.) He’s been making me detox tea and holding me when I need it. If it weren’t for him who’s to say WHAT this carbon monoxide poisoning would have had me do.
Honestly, I can’t believe I have carbon monoxide poisoning. Thank god for those detectors or something far worse could have happened.
Also, Mike’s fine. The carbon monoxide doesn’t affect everyone in the same way. He just had headaches thank god.
45 Comments
Jen @ 6:56 pm ; Saturday [url]
sick, emo
whilst feeling 
Frustrated
Monday Jun 09 '08
Now it’s a chronic problem (25)
I think I’ve mentioned a few times in the past (?) of horrible charley horse incidents I’ve had. Throughout my lifetime I’ll get about 2 a year that just kill. But in the past month & 1/2 I’ve had 3 simply horrid ones. No doubt the blame rests solely on the fact the new house has stairs and I’m up & down those stairs countless times a day. Today it didn’t help that I had even MORE stairs to climb due to the train switching platforms & errands to run at work. THE POINT IS I TOOK A NAP TODAY ONLY TO WAKE UP SCREAMING IN UNBEARABLE PAIN. :crazycry: I couldn’t stop it no matter how much I tried to stretch my leg. Even Mike came rushing in a grabbed my calf trying to massage the cramp out as quickly as possible :tearup:
I cried for about 10 minutes after it stopped. The pain 
It was embarrassing really. I couldn’t walk (still barely can.) It should be a bit better tomorrow and I’ll take a bottle of muscle relaxers in my purse to help get me through the day. s i g h I guess I need to start stretching more?? Maybe it’ll help? My body hates me (only explanation)!
my garden
I noticed that the summer sun and my little terrace garden put on a shadow puppet show for me. This picture just reminds me of how hot it’s been getting. OH, have I ever shared this link!? It’s a page of screen savers of a company’s little mascot cat. The screen savers are pretty cute. Just photos, mainly, of the kitty out ‘n about (or PS’ed, whatever, hahaha.) 
25 Comments
Jen @ 10:53 pm ; Monday (2 days ago) [url]
sick, emo, garden, cats
whilst feeling 
Sad
— 
and goods, [
, 渋原系, ゆるカジ, アメカジ, お姉系, W♥C... need to know 
