Saturday Aug 27 '05

somber, it’s pretty outside (11)

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I’m sad today. Around 12 am last night Mike and I had this huge 3 hour fight. I don’t know~ He seems over it but I don’t feel right. I don’t feel “ok.” He’ll probably read this but oh well. I could go into all of it but mainly it’s the stress about moving. Well, his stress. I’m not scared about moving. I still am totally lost about what he was mad at last night. It’s so lose, lose. I tried not to even get involved in the fight and that didn’t work. Then I tried just sitting there and listening. But he blames me for everything, including stuff I don’t even know what he’s talking about! After 30 minutes of that I couldn’t take it anymore and started sobbing. He just kept on so I ended up extremely enraged. It was horrible.
… click to read the rest

11 Comments

Jen @ 4:38 pm ; Saturday [url]
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Thursday Aug 25 '05

I guess I forgot. (14)

I drove to my parents’ today. I needed to get some bank stuff together from their deposit box and I needed to pick up my vanity for the move in a month. I also saw my grandparents. My grandfather got me a beautiful gold necklace with an anchor pendent from Kuwait. The anchor is a very personal symbol for both of us and it truly meant a lot to me. I have to say I was so stunned at the gift. No one has ever remembered things that meant a lot to me. When I was young I asked him why he wore the gold anchor all the time. Then for my confirmation I chose a symbol of an anchor. Now I too have this symbol to wear forever .

Besides that the day was pretty odd. I don’t know. It’s not the same without Pookie there to visit . My Mom flipped out because I had forgot to mention that this was the last time I was visiting before I moved. I might not visit till next summer. I never visited often anyway!!!! But she just started weeping all over me. I was so…. out of my comfort zone because really I was SO excited to be moving and I wasn’t that upset because, like I said, I rarely visited anyway! They lived 2 hours away, I didn’t always drive home. So, I dunno, I’m an adult, boo-hoo-hoo. But I wasn’t mean about it. I just kept saying she made it sound like I was going off to die or something terrible. I know why she felt this way. I’m just saying a couldn’t relate. My Mom & I are complete opposites in everything we do.

Mike got me this >> useful, no? I owe him. Hahaha.

I have work tomorrow…. boooooooooo.
kamille Livv Reiko zap Vicki Kim Joanna tuan jennifer mango lain anna Lorik Jennifer kate minnymiss

14 Comments

Jen @ 11:26 pm ; Thursday [url]
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Monday Aug 08 '05

healing… slowly (14)

I’m slowly coming to terms with everything. I don’t know. Just feels SO lonely still. I don’t want to talk about it really right now~

New layout is up. I don’t like it really. Not happy with it because it was rushed. I did it during finals week and am just putting it up to change the “place.” I wanted to make a Pookie tribute layout, but, it’s a little hard for me to see her pictures. I had a dream the other night. I kept seeing Pookie and the minute I turned and looked at her she’d disappear because I’d think “what are you doing here!?” So, in my dream I had to focus really hard and not think about how she wasn’t supposed to be there so I could actually hold her & pet her. I actually got to hold her and be with her one last time in my dreams. ~~~~~

Okay~ so what am I up to now that’s Uni is over? Sending letters, and applying for new jobs so I can move out of this hick town.

POST SENT TO:
Susan, Lorik, Minny, Amber, Miyu, Meru, Lain, …. um, I think that’s it. I don’t know, I went to the post about 3 times this week with a few more to come~

Thank you for the helpful comments Jennifer & jennifer & Livv & Lorik & Peach & Aimee & Alondra & Emma & Winniey & Lelah & LittleStar24 & Meru & Aleida & Billie & zap & Reiko & Joanna & lain & minnymiss & Leanne & coco & juley & kamille & tuan & mango & Jen

Mike finally bought a DS. I’m adoring it! Pac Pix is so cool!!!!!!! I’m addicted! To see my drawings come alive & eat things is bliss. Also got Kirby Canvas Curse (LOVE IT!) and the Mario 64 bundle. Mike says it’s great *I know the original was ;D* and he says this version is new enough to make it enjoyable again. I’ve yet to play (it’s his & he’s hogging it.)

14 Comments

Jen @ 12:17 am ; Monday [url]
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Saturday Aug 27 '05

somber, it’s pretty outside (11)